A warning to all writers

There's a new scam in town...

I woke up this morning gratified, but also a little surprised, to find that one of my favourite authors, the immaculate Donna Tartt, had apparently decided to email me because of my “emotionally impactful” new book.

After a few moments, the shock dissipated and I concluded that Donna probably was a huge fan of mine, and that the ‘parody self-help book written by a psychopath’ genre is notoriously emotionally impactful - especially for internationally bestselling authors. She must have read Cityboy, I speculated, and decided that my recommendations about her next novel could really improve her usually mediocre prose.

Unfortunately, it was then that I blearily remembered I’d received about 87 of these damn things over the last month. Usually, these AI-generated emails came from radio stations in Missouri, book clubs in San Francisco or production companies desperate to turn my book into a “major Hollywood film”, but they all had one thing in common: I had to click on a link.

When I first started receiving them, I was rather chuffed until my publisher informed me they were all phishing exercises and that, apart from not clicking the link, the one thing I absolutely should not do was engage with them in any way, as that invariably leads to an online pile-on. Needless to say, I didn’t mention that I had already foolishly sent numerous replies enquiring exactly what it was about my book that had made Steven Spielberg want to turn it into a movie, or why the “BookWorm Radio Station” of Missouri seemed so desperate to get me on their show.

Anyway, it feels weirdly appropriate that there are people out there trying their best to con and manipulate me over a book called How to Con Friends and Manipulate People. I’d feel special were it not for the fact that these emails are apparently being sent to everyone all the time, albeit in increasingly sophisticated form thanks to AI. These nasty little scams are, in fact, yet another glorious by-product of the AI revolution, with the added benefit of ensuring that I now ignore any genuine emails from Spielberg, Donna and my other celebrity admirers across the pond.

So, if you are unlucky enough to receive one of these bloody emails, please do as I say and not as I did: never click on the link and, just as importantly, do not engage with these psychos by replying to their emails. I did and I’m now paying the price.

My new book How to Con Friends and Manipulate People is published on 2 July — you can pre-order it here: https://geni.us/YsMum